Faith / First love / Life / Thoughts

A break from you

His arms feel like Heaven
When my thoughts don’t invade me.
My thoughts invade me,

Because you’re half in my life. If that.
I think I want to take a break from you,
Just for a while.
Just a little break from you.
I need to get my head on straight.
I need to back away from you.

We’ve not been talking about
Anything
Important or controversial.
Nothing
Of consequence or interest really.
You’ve renewed my faith a bit,
And my depression a bit more.
And I think I’ve had enough for a while.

You’ve had enough of me for a while,
Too much really.
You’ve mostly chosen not to take it,
And that’s okay,
That’s your choice, but
It’s not enough for me right now and
Far too much also.

I need a little peace, and I am not
Made of Peace,
And you don’t help me forget that,
And so I need a break from you,
A break to ignore the thoughts you make me think,
And the words I want to say,
The questions I think I must know the answers to.

I need a while to convince myself there are no answers,
There is no solution and accept what is and
What will be again.
I need a break from you,
From Truth
From questions that only lead me to Truth.
I need some time,
Please leave me alone.

I’ll come back when I’m ready.

And I type it all up and the mouse hovers over send, then quickly hits the cancel.

I just can’t do what I really need to… today. Maybe tomorrow…

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