Addiction / Life / Love

Detox Thoughts

There are times when I feel
Strong. Like a woman behind a wall
Or a bulldozer maybe.
I feel powerful
Like you’ll get nothing from me
Like I’ll give nothing away.
Impenetrable. Unmovable.

There are times I feel
Paper thin. Like a woman behind a
Japanese screen.
I’m naked just behind that layer
You can see every outline
Every suggestion through my wall

There are times I glorify
One aspect above another
Love one side of me more.
Sometimes I despise that wall
When I just want to be seen
Sometimes I hate that Japanese screen
When I want to hide
But need most to expose.

Other times I wish the wall could hide
More. I wish it were permanent.
Yet others, I wish I would just tear through
That flimsy screen
Stand naked before you
Wholly me, nothing hidden.

Today I’m behind the wall
Frantically building it
Today I’m fantasizing about the screen
Resenting even it’s thickness.

3 thoughts on “Detox Thoughts

  1. This describes very accurately something I felt recently. The dichotomy of emotion is extremely potent, isn’t it? So strong and yet hating the wall between thoughts and expression. The vulnerability itself can be an obstacle. I love this!


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