Did you ever have one of those days where you just feel like you’re wasting you life? That you’re doing nothing of consequence. I mean we shuffle to work, and we shuffle home. We watch some tv and eat a little dinner. We don’t like to think about the starving children. If we happen to, we send them a check.
I used to have big dreams when I was young. I wanted to start my own orphanage. I wanted to join the peace corps. Instead I’m still here. I’m still in central pa, and I haven’t done much of worth since I was a teenager. Yeah, I’m helping kids here, but their problems are that they are disrespectful, disruptive, or destructive. They have clean water to drink. They have food to eat, clothes to wear, a place to live. Somedays, it seems so insignificant to me. If these kids knew what other kids go through, they would adjust their attitudes real quick.
I was planning what i would use the money that I saved up for Black Friday on and now it seems ridiculous. So what if my curtains look like sheets? Who cares is my coat if faded? The truth is I hate living here because I’m so far out of touch with real life around the world. Americans can sit in their ivory towers and think their problems, their money is theirs. They can think that Christ would be satisfied with 10% and think that their votes are most important.
Today I feel useless. I’m not helping anyone from here. I feel like I was supposed to do more than the daily grind, but I’ve got bills to pay. I’m trapped now. I’m trapped with meaningless problems, getting more selfish by the day. Today, I wish I could change it. I swear I’ll really try.