Okay, I know I’m going to catch a lot of flack for saying it, but it’s honest. God just doesn’t come through for me. I was over at my in-laws house today listening again to their stories of how the Lord has blessed them. They needed a house and mysteriously some tenants broke their lease to move out right when they got to town. They needed a house and told the realtor that the right house would have their name on it, and when they went into the house they live in now had their initials carved into the patio.
I don’t have stories like that. I have prayed for things for years to no avail. The things I pray for aren’t material things. The things I’m thinking of are burdens in my mind. I want to be free of things I deal with, but pray as I might the Lord is not taking them away. But I don’t hold this against God. The truth is that I don’t think my concerns really deserve to be heard. I mean, who am I to think that when the Jews cried out in the Holocaust for God to save them God didn’t listen to them, but must listen to me when I ask for peace of mind. Wouldn’t that make my ego incredibly huge? Then again, Gideon tested God and God came through for him, so maybe I do have a right to ask. Unless it’s only if you are going into battle… because I’m not really doing that.
Regardless, I ask and ask and ask. I’m just still waiting to find. Maybe it’s all on me whether I find or not.