First love

No apologies necessary.

Stable tonight
So very stable
Smooth and easy
Not scared or sad
Not angry or bitter
Not lost or confused
Just stable
Capable
And you owe me no apologies.

I draw some blood from you
Enough to make me whole
Enough to handle words and phrases
I barely even feel them
Or at least not feel their pain fully.
I’m the iceberg tonight
And it’s way too damn easy
To slip into this coma
Put myself behind you
It’s where I feel I belong.
But it’s not just you
It’s me
I always fall behind.
It’s who I am and not your fault
So… no apologies necessary.

In fact, I beg you not to;
I’ll feel so stupid for buying it.
But that is nothing new
In fact, I take it back;
You can apologize.
I have no right to ask anything of you
So whatever you do I’ll accept it.
Apologize or don’t
But I’m not the one you should
Owe a damn thing to.

So save it or don’t
Who am I kidding
You’ll do what pleases you.
This you.
And that’s okay.
I don’t need an apology.
And I’ll be here tomorrow.

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