Family / First love / Life / Thoughts

Out of Anger

Did you ever have one of those moments when you are pissed at someone for practically nothing, but sticking to it when you get some bad news. I mean the ER or hospital kind of bad news. The kind of news that reminds you that life is far too short to squander it being pissed. I had that moment today. Apparently, I needed a double dose. I was angry talking with someone, and he had to go to the ER and so cut the conversation short. Within minutes, my mom sent me a message on facebook that my Dad is in hospital. The strange thing is they both have the same pain, and both are currently waiting to figure out what it is. I’ve packed. I’m ready to jet off. But I haven’t told my husband. I just didn’t think I needed to bother him until I knew if it was anything. In the meantime I told my friend, with whom I was angry, and he talked me through it a little bit. As soon as, I thanked him I went upstairs and lost it. How can I waste so much time being angry? In those moments, everything seems so clear. It’s in perfect focus and it all gets really simple. And why don’t I just tell him that together or apart, I love him and all I want is to be a part of his life. I just don’t want to waste another second not talking. Does this count as opening up? I don’t want to waste another second not saying what I really want to say.

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