About my drive today. Three hours first one wide
Awake. Know I’m
Alive. Too much for comfort
But the second hour
Bawling, not for a second reign it in. Not hiding
Behind anything, not for a second. And all
Cried out and Papa Roach
Cemented my mind, I’m going to
Cut myself out of the hole that I’ve
Dug myself into. The trench so
Deep I can’t see out. There’s no climbing , clawing. Cutting
Down a deep new path. It’s so much
Easier keeping the pain on the outside. Keeps the
Effort at a minimum. Less to deal with. Last 3rd of the drive and numb.
Emotions gone. Not another tear to shed. It’s back to
Fundamentals. Simplicity at it’s
Finest. Now, I know I’m
Still giving it a day or two to settle in.
But I bet it will settle in, and stay the same.
I’ll save myself from my vice,
After I save myself from this.
One bad decision at a time.
One addiction at a time.