“The poor die and the rich don’t live. We can all live forever so long as we don’t do anything foolish. Doesn’t that scare you? That maybe you’ll never do anything foolish or courageous or anything worth a damn.” ~Sylvia Weis
I’ll never be that person. The one who jumps. I’m a cautious, slow, deliberator. In many ways, I’m very like my father. Not unhappy and if not happy, unwilling to trade certainty for a risk. 27 years he spent at job that he was capable of. I don’t think he ever thought of leaving, or promotion, or ambition. He’d still be there today if he weren’t pushed out. When I think of him going to school those years, I remember how he was stressed and anxious but quietly determined. He loves to learn, but doesn’t want to risk to do it. He does it when it’s easy- the history channel- or when he has no other option- when laid off. The things that he has loved in life, he has lost. And he has done so quietly. I remember him with his long hair walking through the woods slowly. He wasn’t looking for anything, just looking at everything. Rubbing apples on my shoes and telling me about the trees. That’s who he’ll always be to me. That’s who I am. That little girl taking in every word with the sounds and sights and smells of the world around me. The one who turns so the wind is always on her back and only makes it home when the wind drives her there. Cautious and slow, riding on the floatie of life wherever the wind and waves take me. And it has been a wonderful view thus far.