If there is one thing I know, it’s that my husband thinks I am a good mother. He thinks that because I am. I know I am. But it still stings to hear someone else say that, because he didn’t always think I was going to be. Hearing somebody else say that I was going to be a good Mom when he wasn’t really threw me into a spiral. Now that he knows I am a good mom, I didn’t think it would matter whether anybody else thought so or not. But on top of that, there’s another sore spot. I guess I’m so good at not needing anybody that my husband doesn’t even have to ask if I’m ok. Which is what I want. Perhaps not what I need. And why is it so easy for some people to get me like that and just ask?
And that’s the one thing that always worries me when we talk. Your fundamental ability to get exactly what I’m not even saying. And more often than not, what I need from what I’m not saying. Yes, right now you have more access to what I am thinking sometimes, but that’s because of your choice to want to know. Another unspoken request that’s long been unanswered. And I know it’s not fair of me to expect what I’m not asking for, but don’t we all do that?