Not that I’m a fan of slaying, capturing, and stealing, but atoning is a dirty business and everybody’s got to do it somehow. That may be a major reason why I am not Catholic. Perhaps, not. It may be that their funerals are so damn confusing. Sit, stand, say a line that you’re supposed to know but you lost the unwritten script for, kneel, stand, kneel…. you get it. Faithful Catholics should be super skinny. That shit is a workout!
But like I was saying, Hercules and his twelve labors are serious business. Whenever we wrong others or especially ourselves, we have to find a way to atone. A way to make relationships grow back even stronger. Not just rebuild trust, but build it better. My life right now is filled to the brim with blessings and hard work and love. And I am building the foundations stronger everyday. Mostly, I have been focusing on rebuilding the trust with myself. That had been seriously lacking. But now, I feel better. I am confident in my abilities, my knowledge, and my standing. I’m finally in a place where I know I am not crazy. And a place where I can make you smile and still feel settled.
And God, what a blessing it is that at the end of the hard task of lifting those corners (come on, it can’t be that hard to make you smile all the time), I get to keep all my hair on my head. I’m not crying. I’m not dwelling and I sleep like a baby. What could be better than getting to be happy for making someone happy? Seeing my son laugh and smile. Watching my husband play with our son. And making you smile. All of which have taken hard work at times and all things that make my life brighter.