Thoughts

Metered Elation

Honest, not honest?
Let’s get this straight.
I want to know exactly how far my elation meter is allowed to go here.
Can you draw some lines for me?
It’s an either/or situation without an and or both option.

I sit still like a rock.
Until someone throws me.
I want to know exactly where I am supposed to land this time.
Can you draw a map for me?
As the crow flies if you will, time is precious.

It’s got to be lukewarm.
There is no other option and that impedes my presence.
I want to know exactly how it’s going to feel on my lips.
Can you find a thermometer for me?
Make it quick, in case you haven’t heard, I’m not a patient person.

Yet again, here I am metering myself.
Denying myself the ability to be present.
I want to know exactly when that is going to end.
Can you circle the date on the calendar for me?
Make it soon, or I’ll make it change.

From where I was at five,
It’s a high dive.
Sky dive.
Nose dive.
And God I’m
Terrified.

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