It’s been three years since I started this blog. Throughout my time writing here, I have received support, criticism, critique and a hell of a lot of inspiration! By allowing myself to be honest in one area of my life I have been able to make peace with the rest. It was only a couple of days ago that I officially divorced myself of the title Christian. I’m amazed that I lasted this long looking back at where I started and how I felt. I still feel quite passionate about what it means to serve Christ, but I’m afraid the church and I have reached the end of our road.
Yesterday I was thinking about the last time I felt at home in a church. It was when I was met at the door by Dave who, while introducing himself, swore then quickly apologized and said that he was working on it. It endeared me to the ‘church’ right away. Isn’t that what church should be. A friendly imperfect person greeting another with love and receiving love back?
It makes me wonder when the last time I felt at home in this city was. And what about with people? When is the last time at felt at home in someone else? What about in myself? I’ll have to think on those a while. Creatively however, this is the place I feel at home. I can say what I want, spoken word, crappy poetry or ramblings. This is my home. I’ve started to paint, and I am truly terrible at it. I enjoy it. I listen to hip hop, sip wine, and paint and it’s fun, but it won’t ever be home to me like this.
I owe a lot to this page, and I should pay it my therapy bills and you all as well. It has saved me a shit load of money over the years and I’m sure it will save me even more. No matter what happens in my life, I know that I can always lean on this and that makes me feel at home. Three years, over four hundred posts, infinite stress busters.