Addiction / First love / Life / Thoughts

Running on empty

 I don’t feel any which way about this anymore. I keep trying to find something, nothing. You’re becoming that person again. The one who drains everyone who loves them, anyone who cares, dry. Take, take, take. And here I am being what I need to be. Nothing more, nothing less. You say that you know what you want, but your actions tell me different, and I guess mine do too. Are you punishing me for that? Or is this something else entirely? I can’t read you right now. Can’t get a handle on what’s going on, what I need to say. I keep doing everything wrong, but still I am not the cause. This is on you. This you. It’s whom I have known for nearly 10 of the 12 years that I’ve known you. I got a glimpse of the person I knew and understood. For a brief window in time, I knew you again. But I guess that’s over. Nothing lasts forever? 

It’s sad, numbness. It’s the kid who doesn’t even notice his parent wasn’t at his game because, well, why would he be. It’s getting let down and again, then getting used to it. I swore I’d never get used to it, and I hope I’m really not. But I don’t know. Maybe this time, I’ve given up. 

Pill and Potions by Nicki Minaj 

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