First love / Thoughts

Chosen One

 

 

You started this. You knew where my life was. You knew what it looked like, what I wanted. You pushed that aside. You pushed me and pushed me. You watch everything and see everything, and so you watch as I am eaten away by your actions, by my actions, by the situation saying nothing. I give, and I give and I give to you. You had a need; I met it. But it was never enough. You consumed every bit of me. And even when I’d given all of me, you climb atop the heap I lie in and stab me with a flag again and again, as if there was still a claim that needed to be staked. It was never enough. You were content to throw my entire life into the flames begged and pushed and insisted to do so. It never mattered to you.

I sit here and ask myself why I’ve spent all day crying. I am trying to nail down the exact cause. Why its so worth it. And I can’t anymore. I just know that it hurts not to have you around, not to hear your anger, or your love, or your sarcasm. It doesn’t matter to me what it is I hear from you, I just want to hear from you. But why? You never took the time to stop and think that the way we go about our lives matters. You were so focused on the end result you couldn’t even see or didn’t care what the immediate cause was going to be. So why should I even care?

You bet your life on my word and lost the gamble.
I built my world on yours and destroyed them both.

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