My husband was peppering me with questions and guidelines and rules after joining a gym. It was he who paid for the membership as a gift and I felt that he didn’t really want me to have it. He was worried that I would look hot and meet someone at the gym or something. I got so mad and started to cry, a connection that I loathe. He has no idea why getting back in shape is so important to me. I don’t want to need him anymore, or anyone else for that matter. For as long as I can remember, I have needed more than my fair share of attention from men on my appearance, but for a short while after having my son, I didn’t need anyone’s approval but mine. I was amazed at what my body was capable of and, for a while, I approved of myself and that’s what mattered. I just want to feel that way again. I want and need the opposite of attention from men by joining the gym. I want the attention of myself, the admiration of myself. It’s the only way that I can ensure I don’t repeat this years’ past mistakes. Taking back what should always have been mine, is my goal for this year.