When I was maybe young, my Mom went shopping for a new couch. The process took several days of walking around several stores for hours looking at everything. To entertain myself, I took a notebook and did calculations. Math is in no way enjoyable to me. However, the sight of all those empty beds and all that space got me thinking about how many orphans I could house in each store. That was enjoyable to me. While my Mom shopped, I counted. When we we left, I told my Mom how many children could sleep in the store every night.
There are things that we envision for our lives. There are parts of our being, aspects of ourselves that always hang around. But when we are forming these aspects of ourselves, we are often not fully capable of envisioning the sacrifices we will have to make for them. A little kid wants to be a doctor, but maybe doesn’t think about the hundreds of thousands in debt, degrees, residency, lack of sleep, strain on any kind of personal life. It is the same for me.
Recently I read an article, it talks about balancing your life and family expenses. It suggests that to make sure we are taking care of others and ourselves when we buy, we should provide for others as we would ourselves. When you buy a bike for your child, buy two and give one away. That, I thought is a wonderful idea. We should do that. But… there’s another part of me forming from the time I was tiny little. Wanderlust. I want to see the world. The more I spend on others, the less I can save for that. Sometimes, I wish that I was a selfish person, that not adopting kids and not giving away money and luxuries didn’t weigh heavy on me.
My husband and I have been very fortunate lately. Having more money around opens up all kinds of questions like these. What do I really want for my life? Is is even possible to have a selfless giving life and one that involves traveling? Is it possible to grow big deep roots with a rich family life and wings that fly you away to new places? With the new adventures, and new possibilities we are poised to take in the next year, we have a lot of these kinds of decisions to make. And I’m excited to see how and where life goes.