Thetan in Training

Let’s pretend it hasn’t been that long of a time and jump right back in here. I’m bedridden and bathroom bound tonight with a severely and blessedly quiet house because I’m sick. That means it’s the perfect time to sit down and read and write. Instead, I’ve decided on a book: Dianetics. For some time now, I’ve been toying with the idea for returning here to write about what I’m reading. Boring as it may sound to you, it seemed slightly less boring than not writing at all. But then one day I had an idea, perhaps I would not return here to write about what I’m reading so much as to write about practicing doing what I am reading. Since I often stick to self-improvement, non-fiction, and alternate theologies, this could be quite interesting. Tonight seems a perfect time to start, but alas, I do not have the money required to attend auditing, to pay for entire set of his books to work on being ‘clear’, nor can I venture far from the restroom, and yet I begin.

In watching Leah Remini’s series on Scientology, I was struck by my total incompetence as a theological enthusiast. Though I have shown a lack of enthusiasm for the truly bizarre or fringe theologies unless they find themselves somehow connected with Christianity, not paying attention to the ‘fastest growing religion in the world’ seems an unfortunate paucity. This lack I could not ignore. And so, on my day of solitude and quiet, I set out to a used bookstore that for all it lacks, it does not lack books on Scientology. It seems that many people have tried it and discarded the remnants or at least the older versions of the books as they are required to purchase the newest ones. There, for three dollars, I purchased the foundational text of a religion I have only heard negative and dramatic things about, blame Tom Cruise for the latter.

Beginning the book is easy. It reads quickly, but it is quite odd. Rather than footnotes for the studies he mentions that prove his theories, he instead defines normal words often misusing or using the incorrect forms of others. I find it annoying, but attribute some of that to the era. Perhaps that’s how things were presented then. One definitely couldn’t google the meaning of a word or the studies he mentioned. How did studies even circulate then? Did Psychology Today have a magazine one could order to keep up on studies? Though if they did, L. Ron Hubbard was not depending on it for sure. He posited that the entirety of the psychological and psychiatric practices were only harmful. To me, that seems quite understandable at a time when eugenics and ice pick lobotomies may still have been fresh on people’s minds or having been spoken of by their parents. His book portrays itself as a self help book, which I find interesting. Perhaps he never meant to start a religion. Perhaps he just wanted to help people along a path that he thought could make the world better. Don’t we all want to do that?

So far, I am only a couple chapters in, but I’m about to take the test. If I get sucked into a cult, I hope you guys will save me. Pin me down and make me read how silly I thought the way he defined ocular was and then used it as a noun, ok? That outghta shake me right out of it. I’ll keep you posted on what I learn, or not. You know I’ve been quite the flake lately. And I’m actually just going to ignore that and continue as though I am still posting on schedule about the same old crap I’ve been writing about for five years. Yeah, five years. That’s how long it’s been now, by the way. Five years of my nutty, swear word riddled rants, ravishing reviews, and oddball comparisons. Five years of laying myself bare to strangers and a couple treasured acquaintances and loved ones. It’s been fun. Now, let’s join a cult. Cult? Hm, another question for another time.

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