Blogging / Rant / self-love / Thoughts

Queen of Three, and Me.

Where to begin an angry rant that made you google ‘fuck you’ songs? I’ll tell you where I won’t begin. I won’t begin by saying: “First of all, I just love my life. My children are everything to me, and everyday I wake up to the shrill call of Momma my heart grows a bit bigger. ” You know why I won’t begin like that? because I don’t have to justify my life to anyone. I don’t have a single thing to prove to anyone outside my little family, including how amazing and charmed my life is. My life could be a fucking nightmare that I hate and regret and that sucks the very soul out my being and that’s no more cause for advice, for back pats, for there there’s or any other happier than thou bullshit. There are times in every person’s life where their chosen path sucks the life out of them. It’s called putting in the work. You’re not promised happiness every single day in any walk of life you have chosen, and that is ok! There is no advice for it. No one’s fundamentally doing life better than you despite what it may look like on Instagram. Please, everyone has shit days. On to my rant.

First of all, I just love my life. My children are everything to me, and everyday I wake up to the shrill call of Momma, my heart grows a bit bigger. Its not a lie. These little soul sucking demons and their eye roll inducing father are the lights of my life. Let me tell all those out there who think anything about this life from the outside. You’re wrong. We are and aren’t warriors. We are and aren’t superheros. This life isn’t sitting on my ass and I’m not saving the world. I am not a contributor- like a slave who totes a barge, the people at the bottom the CEO credits and steals from, exploits. Fuck that. But let me tell you what I am. I’m CEO,CFO,COO. No, fuck that. I am the QUEEN. Not some tattered, tired old lady who tells people what to wear when and how to properly move through their silverware at dinner. I am no figurehead. I am the early Queen of Dragons. I free my people, earn their trust. I am hot and bossy and bold. I don’t back down, or sit down. You think I have to justify anything to you then you don’t know who you are dealing with. See this here is my kingdom. I am theirs and they are mine. I give my life over to them and they give theirs to me. We are ride or die. We are one. I have people who would kill and die for me. Can you say the same?

See what I’ve got is immense, and consuming, and it makes me better. It gives and takes a lot. I study and I hustle and dedicate myself to the pursuance of this path, to these people. Everyday, all day I am on the job being evaluated for every single word and gesture. I am always on. Forget tabloids, celebs have private estates to retreat to. Every corner of my life belongs to these people. I give them everything I am. Is that a contribution worthy of some respect. Bitch, I’m not asking you. I blame this on Beyonce. On feminism. We can have it all became if you don’t do it all you don’t deserve respect. Screw that. A woman who dedicates her life to her career and acts like a kid is a detour isn’t disrespected. She’s a boss. She’s a Diva just like the song. But even Beyonce feels like she has to justify taking a little time off to live her life nearly a billion dollars later. Who can live up to that? Who wants to? For so many being Queen of themselves is a badass bitch lifestyle. But me, I’m Queen of three and me.

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