If she does not struggle, does it also follow that she is not held?

The show The Handmaid’s Tale has revived interest in the somewhat prophetic novel. It has such depth and scope and covers so many relevant issues that we are facing right now. To me, one of the most fascinating and important, but also difficult to swallow is the dynamic experience of rape throughout the show. We … Continue reading →

Church ladies and my unmet expectations

The source of the rage lying just below the surface this year has been eluding me. For months and months I’ve felt as though I were under water. Not drowning, just far far away from everyone else, from myself. Not like I can’t breathe, just filled with something other than breath. Lately I’ve been waking … Continue reading →

Queen of Three, and Me.

Where to begin an angry rant that made you google ‘fuck you’ songs? I’ll tell you where I won’t begin. I won’t begin by saying: “First of all, I just love my life. My children are everything to me, and everyday I wake up to the shrill call of Momma my heart grows a bit … Continue reading →

The Friend I’ve Failed the Most

Though I don’t remember meeting her, I can kind of picture how it went. We were on the same floor in the first dorm I ever lived in. She was peppy and bright and liked to swear with words it is still hard for my Christian girl mouth to put in that order and not … Continue reading →

Whatever it is, I can clean it up later.

Being a mom isn’t always awesome. Sometimes it’s really hard. Sometimes I’m dangling from a very thin rope and the only thing I can use to keep from slipping off is a bit of quiet. To get this, my oldest needs to be out of sight. You know all the videos and pictures of kids … Continue reading →

Miscarriage of Joy

When I first became pregnant, I was so excited. My husband and I made really cool announcements for our immediate family. I can barely picture them now. Just after we told people I started to miscarry. It took over a week to progress and occur. I was very sad, but ok. What I wish I … Continue reading →

A Birth Story: Daughters are WoMEn Too

The way my daughter entered the world prepared me for the life she faces, the life I’ve faced. The rape of our bodies and minds by those to whom our words seem surreptitious. People will assault her by disregarding her words, want, and will insisting that what we wear- our skin, our suit, our smile- is more indicative of our intent than our intentional verbal insistences. Continue reading →